Many children will be confused-and terrified of what your response might be. …which is to help, guide, and walk with your kids in their journey through adolescence.
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Don’t go at it with a full head of steam. Talking it out with your spouse can help. If you need to, take some time and calm your emotions before sitting down with your child. Isolation breeds lust it’s critical that the doors of communication are kept wide open. If you condemn or shame them, they’ll shove sex into their “never discuss with Mom and Dad” closet, increasing the risk of retreat into the secret fantasy world of porn addiction.
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You want your child to feel safe with you so they feel free to discuss anything. When you discover your child has been exposed to porn (I say when because the odds are heavily stacked that it will).
An appropriate age for such a disclosure might be the teen years, should you decide to go through with it. This will open new doors in your relationship, show your kids you’re human, and cut the lust-monster down to size when they see that God has made you an overcomer. Every computer should have a porn blocking solution installed.Īs your child matures, consider discussing your past struggles with lust or porn.
This could be as radical as doing away with the TV, or not having cable. Long before your children are of the age where porn will be an issue, safeguards should be set in the home. Anything outside of marital sex is sin, can destroy your child’s life when he grows up, and will hurt those he loves. It’s nothing to be ashamed of the Lord addresses it candidly throughout the Bible. God made sex for marriage only between one man and one woman. You should also discuss the dangers of porn with your children and what to do if they’re exposed to it. This doesn’t mean you need to dump the whole sex- talk truck-load on an eight year old, but at least consider the Hansel and Gretel approach of steadily feeding them a few crumbs over time. In our pornified culture this may mean as young as age 8, depending on the maturity of the child. Your child should hear about sex from you first, not his peers. With statistics showing that 50-60% of Christian men viewing porn, it’s not uncommon.Ī lot of what the church does today is reactive we wait until the building is half burned to the ground instead working to protect against a fire. Or maybe he stumbles onto the cache of his father’s porn on the family PC. Then Junior, who’s more tech savvy than Mom and Dad, learns about porn from his peers, many who have smart phones with unrestricted internet access. We avoid it in the home “there won’t be a problem in my house.” Leadership doesn’t address sexual sin from the pulpit, and it’s not discussed in youth groups. Part of the problem is that many in the church are still living in the ostrich position.
Some statistics say younger.ĩ0% of eight to 16 year olds have viewed porn online.Ĩ0% of 15 to 17 year olds have view hard core porn.įour out of five 16 year olds regularly access porn online. The average age of first exposure to porn is ten. How should parents respond when they catch their children viewing porn?įirst, we need to face reality. The first will drive a boy into isolation and toward a secret addiction, while the other opens the door wide to sexual sin. The responses above are extreme both are damaging.
This dad took the “tolerant approach” going so far as to offer his son some “safe” porn sites. Recently, a father who discovered his son viewing porn wrote a letter that has been widely circulated on the internet. Their response: to spank him, adding humiliation to shame. A while ago, a Christian couple we know caught their 14 year old son viewing porn on the family computer.